Corazon de Poeta

A Mother’s Sigh

–

I could tell it was her by the way the door sounded when she opened it. She’s the only one in the house that didn’t lose her patience with the way it refused to let us in on the first shove. She’d push it gently as if she didn’t want to be rude for disturbing it. She’d wait for it to decide it was ready. She’d walk in, each step an apology to the floor. 

I’d seen her retreat to her corner of the couch a million times without ever taking the time to really see her. Too focused on the endless to-do list of life to prioritize the things that were most important to do. 

I hadn’t noticed how much time had passed until I heard her sigh. The kind of sound that hits the heart first. Like something crashing in the bedroom when you know your young child is in there playing all alone. 

Time paused just long enough for me to sit across from her and wonder how long it had been since the elasticity of her skin decided it didn’t want to work anymore. When did the years decide to settle in and form valleys? Her face now a map for grief and pain. For a moment, her eyes met mine, and, in that fleeting exchange, I saw the weight of everything she didn’t say. We didn’t need words. 

I watched her sorrows follow the path that led to the edge of her jawline. I could tell they’ve taken this route many times before. I saw them accumulate like a traffic jam before falling to her lap. 

I wished I could cup them in my hands and use them to tend to the flowers of her life, to show her the beauty of the garden that she’s cultivated out of sacrifice and pain. 

And, suddenly, I wanted to apologize that it took me so long to finally see her. 

– A. DJ ❤